talk.date.relax

i recently had the privilege of being my best friend's matron of honor at her wedding this weekend! i was so happy to be a part of her special day. you could literally see how much she and her new hubby loved each other.

seeing them so happy and on top of the world got me thinking about other marriages and how that feeling of being "on top of the world" seems to fade in most marriages over time. the good news is, you can have that feeling back again. you just need to do what you did in the beginning of your  relationship. here are three things that Shawn and i strive to do in our each marriage everyday....not just some days, but everyday. be the type of person you would want to be married to.

talk.

its that simple. there are so many couples that don't even talk to each other anymore. i found myself busy with the kids and being mad or frustrated with shawn for things that weren't his fault. i would nag him, which pretty much is the worst thing ever to have a nagging wife (so i hear, haha), or i would shut down and be thinking to myself... "is it really that hard for him to take out the trash when he walks past it and it's over flowing? cant he see that i'm burned out?" then it hit me one day..... ask the man to do it! men have so much on their mind and really don't think about things we think they should. i decided to sit down with him  after the kids went to bed and it went something like this.

"babe, i am so wore out. i want to be everything and do everything but i can't keep the house clean, food on the table (it may be burnt half the time but hey, im trying) and take care of the kids without some extra help. i really appreciate you working hard for us, but i need your help."

 what does he say? "ok, what do you want help with?" 

so i gave him three things that would be a huge help. 1- if you see the trash is overflowing, take it out AND put a liner in it (still working on that liner part, lol) 2- if you see a heaping pile of laundry in our room, take it down and throw a load in, 3-bathe the kids. 

that was it. it only took a little normal conversation. there is a constructive way to approach almost any issue you are dealing with. when you come at each other with the intent to attack instead of make a resolution, nothing will get accomplished. just talk.

date.

by this i mean, yes, go on dates. but be "date-like". act like you did when you were dating. open doors, actually be on time and ready for a date when you say you will be (i'm still working on this), kiss, send texts, make an extra phone call in your busy day just to say i love you, buy flowers. skip out on a guys night when it's been awhile since you took your wife out, or skip that mani pedi to get home to your man,  go back to the "good ole' days" and bring those back into your marriage. be sweet to each other. i once heard a girl say, we don't have the money to do sweet things for each other. no one said that when you buy flowers they have to be $50 long stem red roses. one single rose is so romantic. it just lets your wife know "i was  thinking about you."  if your not even a flower type of person, go back to your spouses favorite type of gum or candy bar when you were dating and put it on their pillow, or driver's seat in the car with note for the next morning! there is a super cute gum called "lover boy" (by orbit i think) that i found at the store, so i put it on shawn's desk the other day just for a tiny surprise. it's the small things you did, like when you were dating that will spice up your marriage.

this was our one year dating anniversary. do you still celebrate your dating anniversary like you used to? ;)

relax.

so many people are so uptight. they get offended so easy by their spouse. or so over whelmed by everyday life. take a few minutes to breathe and relax. one saturday morning,  if the house is a mess, the kids are running wild, things need to be done, just take time to realize whats important. your spouse, your family and your time together. there have been lots of times that our house is a pure disaster but shawn and i will take 20 minutes to sit in the kitchen to relax and "catch up " with each other before we start our crazy day. 

i never want people to look at our marriage or my posts and think that our marriage is perfect, but i can say that we are very happily married and actually like each other :) the reality is if your not "watering" your marriage, i'm sure someone else will "water" it for you, yikes! every marriage has the ability to be amazing but it takes work!

don't forget to go to bed tonight without kissing your spouse.

happy kissing! :)