pillow talk.....

there isn't a better feeling then waking up to my hubby and actually being able to have a conversation in bed. this is one of the reasons why i love getting away with just him. how often do you really get to talk to your spouse without the kids busting in the room.  i can not tell you how many people have said  "you are leaving your kids for a week?"

yes. we left our kids for a week...to spend time together, uninterrupted. there is no sharing our food, no schedule around nap time, no wiping butts in the middle of dinner {which is oh so appetizing}, it's just he and i doing whatever we want.

i get that it's not everyone's cup of tea to leave their kids for a week, but i think having some alone time is essential in having a successful marriage. i know as a mom its easy to get wrapped up in our kids. we build our life around them, which is a good thing...as long as you are building it around your hubby too. when i hear people talk about not wanting to leave their kids or "its been 4 years since we have been overnight together, i could never leave my kid"  i am thinking to myself  "do you forget the reason you have your sweet babe? your husband."

i do have to say we have been blessed with wonderful parents that encourage us to get away, and if you have the same take them up on their offer. your kids will literally be spoiled by them and might not even notice you are gone!!! our parents are both doing so many fun things with them that it totally eases my mind and lets me relax.

i encourage you to get away , even if it's for one night. and really "getting away" might be shipping the kids off to mimi and papa's for the night and relaxing in your own home "away" from the kids. it is so good for your marriage. it shows your husband he is a priority, and your kids that mommy/daddy time is important.

it's so nice being together

just a little marriage humor for you :)

SIMPLY GIVE: THE $20 GIVE

a few years back i did a thirty day give, which was a ton of fun but i wanted to make things simple this november
 {mainly because i don't have time to blog every night with 3 crazy kids running around}

if you are looking for a way to be a blessing this november, set a budget on how much you can give and see how people you can bless, spending only that amount.  i picked the amount of $20 and would like to show you how many ways you can give with it, even if you literally only have 25 cents to give.

i know that people are in so many different financial situations and may see different things about giving to others and think "i have no extra money to give. things are so tight." i was delighted to see a friends post on Facebook the other night, about how things are tough for her and she literally didn't have the money in her budget to help someone but she did anyway. she was at the grocery store and the lady in front of her didn't have enough money for her groceries, she herself had just enough money for her own. without even thinking she took out her debit card and paid for the lady's groceries. 
after the fact, i had messaged her to see if i could share her story, she told me the money she used was allotted for their cable bill, but they would go without it  this month. she walked away.... on top of the world and had commented that the  "high" you get from helping someone is the best feeling ever. 

more people need to be like this. that's why i am encouraging you to do whatever you can this month to put a smile on someones face or really be a blessing to someone in need. and even though we don't give to get, i really believe you always get blessed back!

i am going to continue to spend my $20 through the month, but here are some examples of what the kids and i have done so far.....

donated a $1 to st jude's

the boys each left 25 cents in a candy machine for the next kid that came thru

i always let the kids get one thing for themselves. i think it's important to let them know its ok to want things for yourself but you should always want to bless others too.

{spent 50 cents}

i left a quarter in my shopping cart at aldi. i have been doing this since i started shopping there. i am always digging in the bottom of my purse when i get there to find one! it drives me crazy, haha!

{spent 25 cents}

don't mind my kids cheesy smiles and the clothes they picked out themselves.... we took flowers and a sympathy card to our  neighbors who just lost an uncle that they were really close to.

{spent $5}

today, i paid for the person behind me at dunkin! 

if you do this and don't want to risk the person's order behind you being over  a certain amount, you could just purchase a $5 gift card for the cashier to give them towards their order! i did that one time last year because there was no one behind me and it turns out a high school friend's friend got it and posted about it on facebook! such a small world!

{spent $4}

we bought gloves at marc's to leave at a sarta bus stop to keep someone's hands nice and toasty. i got the adult pair for $2 and the child's pair for $1. i always see people walking down the road or huddled in a bus stop when it's cold. some of them with out hats and gloves. the boys and i may go back and buy some more pairs and take a weekend to deliver these to any bus top we see sometime in december.

 {spent $3}

ok, so total, i spent about $13.75

and gave in 7 different ways. 

see how far you can stretch your giving budget to bless people over the holiday season and get your kids involved!! this goes to show you no amount is too small. the next few weeks, the kids and i will see how far our remaining $6.25 can go!

SIMPLY GIVE: OPERATION GWENS HOUSE

i bet your basements and closets are packed full of holiday decor!  i know mine are! it's time to give some of that stuff away that you never even put out! just think, by giving away your gently used Christmas decorations, it will leave more space for new ones this year! (wink)

a friend of mine recently took on an amazing task. she partnered with TRY ministries and opened GWENS house. it is a safe, christian, three bedroom home where women coming out of addictions and or prison can transition into a new life in Christ. GWENS house focuses on teaching these women employment skills, life skills and applying the Bible to their everyday life. Jill sees these ladies so valuable and she is grateful for the opportunity to help them rebuild their lives.

GWENS house is financially supported by 

TRULY REACHING YOU (TRY)  ministries,

 a non profit 501c3 in Akron OHIO.

www.trulyreachingyou.com

why is this sweet friend of mine so passionate about helping these women? well, in 2001, while in prison, God completely restored her life, she received Christ through the prison ministry at faith family church. then in 2008 she decided to go back into the prisons to testify about what JESUS can do when you surrender your life to him. along with prison ministry , jill partnered with TRY and opened GWENS house.

Jill Sullivan

so, what can you do? you can donate your gently used Christmas decor to make sure these gals feel nice and cozy in a winter wonderland! we are in need of a Christmas tree, lights, ornaments, a wreath for the front door, wreath hanger, stockings, stocking hangers, and any other cute decor that could spread the Christmas cheer!

there are currently 3 ladies staying there, so along with stockings, it would be awesome if a few people would take on getting stocking stuffers for each of the ladies! some ideas for items that would be greatly appreciated are: shampoo, conditioner, nail polish, body lotions and sprays, slippers, cozy socks, make-up bag, chap stick, and pretty much anything girly!

if you can help in anyway, please e-mail me at ajlaps84@hotmail.com with subject line GWENS house, or contact me on facebook! 

thanks for being such a blessing and for helping make these ladies feel extra special this holiday season!

SIMPLY GIVE: OPERATION ST.NICHOLAS

it's that time of year again when we hear about giving,giving, giving. i love it. people who may not give all year round, start doing it by donating $1 here or there, or buying toys for tots, and you may even get your coffee paid for one morning by a complete stranger!

well, i know thanksgiving is right around the corner, which is an awesome time to reflect on all we have to be grateful for. family .friends. health .a warm cozy house, and in no way do i want people to think i am skipping over that but we all know the Christmas music will be starting, and the sale ads will be out. 

i remember when i was a little girl, Christmas time would come around and at times it was a bit {ok,  a lot} stressful for my parents buying for 8 kids. one year in particular i can remember , my dad lost his job. my parents started to freak out, but knew God would provide. it was a cozy snowy night when all of us kids were sitting around and our door bell rang. my mom went to the door and saw a beautiful wrapped box sitting on the porch and someone running down the street. she brought the box in and all of us kids were gathered around waiting to see what was in it....she pulled out $100, then another, then another, until there were five $100 bills in her hand. it was amazing!!!!!

to me, looking back that was one of the most memorable Christmas to me. that someone who still to this day we do not know who it was, would give us $500. i want to be a giver like that. it brings me to this.... i know that our kids are all about Santa! which is so super fun, but each year at Christmas i tell the kids why there is a santa. 

the true story of Santa began with a man name saint nicholas. he was raised in a very wealthy family, and was taught to give to people in need. he also had a great love for children. he actually spent his whole inheritance from his parents assisting people in need, sick or suffering. after he died, a fiction character was made up named santa, representing him and a man who loved to give. i think its so important to tell kids that story. make it age appropriate and maybe leave out "santa clause died" lol! :-) but just tell your kids that "santa" likes to give to them and they should want to give to others too! encourage them to be like st nicholas and start teaching them to give in their own way (which will be a post coming up)

ok, with this all being said....i would like anyone who feels led to help me complete 

OPERATION ST. NICHOLAS

i have a friend who's husband has epilepsy. he missed a lot of work at the beginning of last year, which made them behind on their bills. she got a great job but as soon as they started to catch up, she got laid off along with a lot of other people at her job. they have 4 children Alyssa age 11,Ethan age 8, Emily age 4 and Aubrey just turned one. i knew a little bit of her situation  and contacted her to see if she would allow me to post this. presently her kids need new warm clothes for winter.  even though someone could be behind on so many bills, i know how much you want your kids to have a great Christmas  i had her ask the kids what they wanted and also got their sizes in clothes. i'll post the list below, if you feel like you want to help in any way, you can contact me through a facebook message or comment below. if you would like to send them money, i can send you their address so you can mail it directly to them or if you wish to remain anonymous, you can give it to me to give to them. if you make handmade things and want to donate, if you have a business and can get people to chip in, if you offer any services and want to be  a blessing, that would be awesome!

Christmas list:

Alyssa- Age 11

Tablet

Craft sets

Eiffel Tower Decorations

MP3 Player

Giftcards

Size 10-12 in Shirts

Size 7-8 in Pants

Size 4 in shoes

Ethan- Age 8

Tablet

Skylanders

Xbox Skylanders swap

Matchbox cars and Track sets

Giftcards

Size 7 in Shirts and Pants

Size 1 in Shoes

Emily- Age 5 (in a few weeks)

Tablet

Barbies

Playdough

Dress up stuff

American Dolls (the knock off ones...or real, wink)

Craft things

Giftcards

Size 6x in Shirts and Pants

Size 11 in shoes

Aubrey-

Typical Baby Toys :)

i know this is super early to talk about Christmas but i figure the sooner this stuff is bought, the more stress-free this sweet family can be. i would like to request that gifts are not wrapped. part of the fun at Christmas is wrapping your kids gifts.

thank you all so much!

talk.date.relax

i recently had the privilege of being my best friend's matron of honor at her wedding this weekend! i was so happy to be a part of her special day. you could literally see how much she and her new hubby loved each other.

seeing them so happy and on top of the world got me thinking about other marriages and how that feeling of being "on top of the world" seems to fade in most marriages over time. the good news is, you can have that feeling back again. you just need to do what you did in the beginning of your  relationship. here are three things that Shawn and i strive to do in our each marriage everyday....not just some days, but everyday. be the type of person you would want to be married to.

talk.

its that simple. there are so many couples that don't even talk to each other anymore. i found myself busy with the kids and being mad or frustrated with shawn for things that weren't his fault. i would nag him, which pretty much is the worst thing ever to have a nagging wife (so i hear, haha), or i would shut down and be thinking to myself... "is it really that hard for him to take out the trash when he walks past it and it's over flowing? cant he see that i'm burned out?" then it hit me one day..... ask the man to do it! men have so much on their mind and really don't think about things we think they should. i decided to sit down with him  after the kids went to bed and it went something like this.

"babe, i am so wore out. i want to be everything and do everything but i can't keep the house clean, food on the table (it may be burnt half the time but hey, im trying) and take care of the kids without some extra help. i really appreciate you working hard for us, but i need your help."

 what does he say? "ok, what do you want help with?" 

so i gave him three things that would be a huge help. 1- if you see the trash is overflowing, take it out AND put a liner in it (still working on that liner part, lol) 2- if you see a heaping pile of laundry in our room, take it down and throw a load in, 3-bathe the kids. 

that was it. it only took a little normal conversation. there is a constructive way to approach almost any issue you are dealing with. when you come at each other with the intent to attack instead of make a resolution, nothing will get accomplished. just talk.

date.

by this i mean, yes, go on dates. but be "date-like". act like you did when you were dating. open doors, actually be on time and ready for a date when you say you will be (i'm still working on this), kiss, send texts, make an extra phone call in your busy day just to say i love you, buy flowers. skip out on a guys night when it's been awhile since you took your wife out, or skip that mani pedi to get home to your man,  go back to the "good ole' days" and bring those back into your marriage. be sweet to each other. i once heard a girl say, we don't have the money to do sweet things for each other. no one said that when you buy flowers they have to be $50 long stem red roses. one single rose is so romantic. it just lets your wife know "i was  thinking about you."  if your not even a flower type of person, go back to your spouses favorite type of gum or candy bar when you were dating and put it on their pillow, or driver's seat in the car with note for the next morning! there is a super cute gum called "lover boy" (by orbit i think) that i found at the store, so i put it on shawn's desk the other day just for a tiny surprise. it's the small things you did, like when you were dating that will spice up your marriage.

this was our one year dating anniversary. do you still celebrate your dating anniversary like you used to? ;)

relax.

so many people are so uptight. they get offended so easy by their spouse. or so over whelmed by everyday life. take a few minutes to breathe and relax. one saturday morning,  if the house is a mess, the kids are running wild, things need to be done, just take time to realize whats important. your spouse, your family and your time together. there have been lots of times that our house is a pure disaster but shawn and i will take 20 minutes to sit in the kitchen to relax and "catch up " with each other before we start our crazy day. 

i never want people to look at our marriage or my posts and think that our marriage is perfect, but i can say that we are very happily married and actually like each other :) the reality is if your not "watering" your marriage, i'm sure someone else will "water" it for you, yikes! every marriage has the ability to be amazing but it takes work!

don't forget to go to bed tonight without kissing your spouse.

happy kissing! :)

it's back....toasty tuesday

it's that time of year again....it is beginning to get a bit chilly out. i love that everyone will be wearing hoodies, jeans, cute scarves.....AND buying people coffee to keep them nice and toasty through the day!

it's so fun to randomly do "toasty tuesday" which means when you go to buy your pick-me-up cup of joe in the am, you're going to buy the person's behind you too! 

i get the same feeling every time i do this...i get nervous but excited! i'm thinking "what is this person going to think when the cashier tells them i paid for the coffee". i try to speed off as soon as possible, haha, i'm not sure why i do that. i have even had people try and catch up to me to thank me! it seriously will make YOUR day knowing you got to bless the person behind behind you!

after all the years doing this, i finally got to see what it was like a few months back. the person in front of me at Dunkin' paid for my coffee! i was so excited!!!! i went to pay for the person's behind me and there was no one there! so, i just bought a $5 gift card to leave for the next person. i posted about it on facebook because i was so excited, and the person that got my gift card posted about it on facebook too and a mutual friend said "oh my gosh, my friend got the gift card that you left" overall, it was such a fun experience!!!!

make YOUR day and SOMEONE else's, and buy a cup of coffee for a stranger!

what will you be buying someone? Dunkin' or Starbucks?

i'd like to give away a million dollars...

i'd like to give away a million dollars....but until i have a million dollars to give away, i'm going to start small

"the smallest deed is better than the grandest intention"

i've been teaching the boys about giving and i want them to know that no matter what they give to someone, how small it may be, that it's something, which is better than nothing.

i really think that people would be a lot less stressed if they weren't consumed with their own life so much and started doing things for other people. you would be surprise at how good that makes you feel! i always say, if your in a bad mood, do something nice for someone else!

today i offered the men that have been trimming the trees in our neighborhood water and popsicles. it took less than thirty seconds and cost me less than a dollar. small and simple. who doesn't have an extra minute in their day and popsicles in their freezer in the summer? :) 

the other day we were at el camps (a Mexican restaurant), i was just with the boys. a older man with long scraggly hair walked in, he was in dirty clothes and didn't seem to be too happy. i told the boys that we were going to pay for his meal. hunter looked at me and said "why mommy? he looks scary!" i told him , that it doesn't matter what people look like, you should always be nice! you know those  "scary" people at the store that smile so big when you pass them, yes, kinda creepy, but what would a simple "hello" hurt? how about the old lady that wants to touch your baby's toes while your in line at the grocery store, let them dote over your baby, it will make their day! confession: a lady actually kissed capri's toes when i was in line the other day, totally grossed me out! haha but i knew it made her day! back to el camps, when i came home from there and told shawn what we did, i was just saying to him "what if... someone was going to commit suicide and just by YOU paying for their meal, they knew there was hope? what if...YOU paid for someone's coffee in line behind you that was going through a depression and that was the first thing that helped them out of it? what if...YOU actually reached out to your neighbor that no one talks to and they were about to go commit a crime, or do a shooting and you softened their heart? do YOU know how you can change peoples's lives by the little things you do? you may have no idea how a little deed can change their day/life, but just know that every time you invest time into someones life, you are making an impact! 

i haven't done a post like this in awhile and thought it was time! :) feeling extra motivational tonight!

go do something nice for someone tomorrow!

p.s. mail men really like ice cream sandwiches when it's hot outside! a little way you can teach your to be nice and be on the look out for nice things they can do!

these little kids are some of the best givers i know!